How to Set Boundaries with Friends You Also Work With

This one has been particularly important for me to work on and I hope what I’ve learnt will be of value to you also, as this is a challenge many small businesses owners encounter. Many of us end up working with friends, or find that we become close with those we work with.

There’s a number of different reasons for this. One relates back to the first chapter on ‘finding your tribe’ – it’s often valuable for us to connect and collaborate with other small business owners and become friends in the process. Equally, most people don’t have a large budget when they first set up and so rely on their friends for support.

That may be to do certain things, from painting our premises through to designing our logo, or it may be to show up and support the events we run. This slightly blurs the line of friendship, as we’re bringing them into our world of work, in a slightly different way than how most people do when they’re in regular employment. This isn’t a bad thing!

Having the support of our friends is a beautiful thing but reflecting on where the boundaries lie is an important act of self-care on both sides.

When the lines are blurred, it makes many of the points discussed in previous chapters more challenging. Where do you message someone if they’re both a friend and a colleague? When do you see them if you’re going to have a catch up but also talk about work? Sometimes the answers may feel obvious, but other situations you’ll need to work through together.

I draw a distinct line between work and personal life – even when it’s the same person I’m interacting with. If I am contacting them about something work related then I’ll email them within work hours. If I’m sending them my very detailed thoughts on where we should go out to eat next, I’ll WhatsApp them in my social time. Even little things, like making sure I’m tagging their work or personal Instagram help to draw that line.

This may feel slightly performative at first, but I promise that it becomes second nature over time.

As with all things: communication is the key! It’s important to chat about this with the other person to make sure this also works for them and the way they’re running their business. Some kind of compromise will always be possible and it will strengthen your relationship (both on a business level and as a friendship) to know what you can expect from one another.

For most of us, friendships also go through those seasons and cycles. Now you may be a saint and never for a moment get annoyed with people (in which case, please do feel free to skip ahead) but most of us can get a little irritated on occasion. That doesn’t mean you don’t love them, or won’t be their friend any more, but there are occasions in life when you need a little space.

If you work with that person also, then having separate communication channels and specific times when you talk to them, can make those periods much easier to navigate. Strong friendships will always survive those times, but it’s important to ensure that your business isn’t impacted by having pre-prepared boundaries in place.

MY ACTION PLAN:

·       Make a list of those who you’re friends with but also work with.

·       Take some time to reflect on the boundaries that will enable you to navigate that relationship e.g. how & when you contact each other / how & when you meet up…