Top ten tips for success at single’s nights
Here are ten top tips for making the most out of single’s nights! You can find the upcoming series of events HERE but please do feel free to get in touch if you have any questions (contact details at the bottom!)
- Set you own boundaries clearly
Think about what you want from the night beforehand. For example, is this your first foray into dating again or are you ready to commit to the right person as soon as you meet them? That will determine whether or not you feel comfortable leaving contact details on the night.
If that’s something you’re ready for, then I’d really encourage you to be brave and go for it (more on this late!) Equally, if you drink, then decide beforehand how much you’re comfortable drinking on the night and then stick to that boundary.
- Know what you’re looking for…
It’s great to come to a single’s night with some idea of who you’re looking for. What values are most important to you in a partner, for example? This will help with asking the right questions and also make sure you send out the right signals to that potential match.
- … but keep an open mind!
Having said this, I always try to discourage people from coming with a checklist of requirements – as this can stop you really looking. Perhaps all your exes looked a certain way, or had a certain characteristic… but are they exes for a reason? Be open to the possibility of someone surprising you.
- Make sure you’re there early
I once had a guest arrive 90 minutes late (without apology or explanation) and everyone else in the room just went ‘nope’. It looks rude. If you can’t get there on time, how ready are you to be someone’s partner? Of course, there are perfectly valid reasons to be running late (we’re all human!) but do all that you can to make sure you’re there promptly. We make quick judgements and most potential matches happen in the first half an hour of the event. Why would you miss that?
- Think about presentation
Whether we like it or not, appearance is important when it comes to making a positive first impression. Wear something that you’re comfortable in and that really shows off who you are. The events I run are ‘smart casual’ – think jeans and a nice top/ shirt or a dress with flats. The most important thing is that you wear something that you feel good in!
- What are your key questions?
Think about what you want to ask people at the event. We all tend to start with the ‘where are you from’ and ‘what do you do’ questions. That’s fine! Small talk gets a bad rep but it can be a helpful way of easing in. You definitely want to go beyond that though; so have a think beforehand about what you’d most like to ask a potential partner. At the single’s nights I run, there will also be lots of conversation cards and games to help with this.
- Be open to making friends too
Single’s nights are also an amazing space to meet people of a similar age, at a similar stage of life and also single. Be open to the possibility of making new friends as well! You never know, they may go on to introduce you to their friends – one of whom could be Mr/Ms Right!
- Leave your contact details
As I said at the beginning, setting your own boundaries is really important. However, if you are comfortable to leave your contact details with people – I would really encourage you to do so! I am always happy to pass people’s numbers across afterwards but I know from experience, there’s a much higher rate of success if you offer in person. Totally appreciate this can be daunting, but remember, everyone’s in the same position and people are generally really flattered to be asked.
- Tap into your network of support
Everyone is different, but I appreciate that coming to a single’s night may feel daunting. I’ll do everything I can to make you feel relaxed in the space, but please do tap into your support network too. That might be telling a family member that you’re attending, getting ready with friends, checking in with someone afterwards… Make sure you feel supported in attending and celebrate it as an opportunity.
- Be proud of yourself for attending!
Even if you don’t meet someone first time round, be proud of yourself for taking that step and being open. As I say, it may be a step outside of your comfort zone but, by the end of the night, attendees are normally buzzing which makes dating feel that much easier going forward.
You can find the details of upcoming single’s nights HERE and if you have any questions about upcoming events then please get in touch at @burton_road or burton.road.network@gmail.com